365 Days of Hypochondria

And other personal happenings.


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What I’ve Been Up To! (Days 267-272)

A lot has happened since I posted last. Hypochondria-wise, I’ve been nervous that I’m a)anemic or b)diabetic and I’ve been having a few episodes on and off. For the first time in years, I found myself searching symptoms on the internet. Never again!

With all the health related-worries, I started to eat more healthily than usual. Tomorrow is my first doctor’s appointment in ages so I’m a little nervous about that. We’ll see how it goes.

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ALSO- I have rekindled my love for thrift shopping. I used to be a sort of anti-consumer in high school but somehow, since then, I’ve become this person who loves to purchase items brand new. A few days ago, I hit up Goodwill and found six great items for 24 dollars and let’s just say the old Kira is back. I’ve also changed the way I grocery shop. I’ve found that when I grocery shop without a list or any specific food in mind, and only buy produce that’s on sale that day, I spend way less money on vegetables and fruits.

As I get older, I realize that there is a strong possibility that I won’t be making a lot of money with my university degree. Therefore I need to stop idealizing lifestyles that aren’t practical. When I was young I always pictured myself living happily in an apartment surrounded by simple, creative things. I need to get back to that.

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Two of my Goodwill buys. Gotta love those button ups!

 


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How To Love The Doctor’s Office (Day 266)

Please note that I realize how lucky I am to have healthcare. I am not complaining; my hypochondria makes me quite critical. But maybe that’s not a bad thing.

I sometimes (usually) have an irrational aversion to the doctor’s office. However, a lot of the time I think that my disdain for the doctor’s is quite normal.

After all the doctor’s office usually:

-smells like disinfectant

-simultaneously smells like sorrow

-has a waiting room that induces “lead-up” anxiety and

a television tuned in to a popular news station (broadcasting the latest in biased & melodramatic journalism)

What normal person would enjoy that atmosphere? However, I do have to admit that a lot of my aversion to the doctor’s office is derived from my hypochondria. Lately though, I’ve had a change in mindset. I’ve begun to realize that knowledge isn’t something to be feared. Rather, knowledge can empower you and give you control over your body. I came home to see my family doctor this week but I wasn’t able to make an appointment. So I’ve decided to set an appointment up for myself when I get back to the city. I’m going to take one for the team and write about my doctor’s appointment. Can you tell it’s been a while since I’ve gone?

It should be noted that not all people with hypochondria have an aversion to the doctor’s and I certainly didn’t used to be this way. (I used to supplement my health anxiety by visiting the doctor TOO often.)

If you have hypochondria or any other mental health issue, how do you feel about the doctor’s office?


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Brain Links (Day 265)

When I feel off or down, I like to escape reality. How do I do this you ask? Well, when I’m not working or at school, I’ll binge watch t.v., spend an obscene amount of time playing games on my iPad, etc etc. Some people might equate this with laziness, and maybe it is laziness (I suppose I’m quite fortunate to have time to escape reality) but I often think of it as a coping mechanism. All sorts of strange behaviours can be linked with one’s psychology. Some people link procrastination to stress or a fear of failure. During my exams I attempted to procrastinate my studying, and in doing this, I realized a lot of my procrastination habits result from an ironic fear of attempting something in case of failure. When I procrastinate, I do the same activities that cause me to escape reality. I think it’s a coping mechanism that forces me to reduce my stress. I get stressed out easily because I overthink everything. The moment I enter something into my calendar I can’t stop thinking about it until said project or date is done and over with. This creates me into someone who hates planning things. I guess that’s why I prefer spontaneity– it’s stress-free for me.

I have no clue what the point of this post was, it’s really just me rambling. But I guess now I see how linked all of my mentalities are. Cause and effect etc etc.


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Back to Health…Again (Day 264)

I spend all day editing and before I know it it’s almost 11:30pm!

Nothing too exciting happened today. But after a million pounds of Easter candy and all of that exam stress-eating I have decided to start eating better. My healthy food kicks come and go in waves but I’ve noticed that in the warmer months, it is extremely easy for me to eat and stay healthy. I guess I’m just more motivated.

I will keep you all updated on my health spree :).


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Pastel Day (Day 263)

Yesterday I took the train to my grandmother’s house for Easter. As usual, I was inspired to take some photos.

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Above, are the eggs I decorated for her. I think they look like shit because instead of using a wax crayon, I had to decorate them with marker. At least it was fun. :)

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My favourite picture at my grandmother’s house resides in the basement laundry room. A portal into another universe whilst one is laundering, perhaps?

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Letters & Queer Nights (Days 258-262)

Some letters are better left unsent. I’ve started packing my things for my move at the end of the month and I have encountered so many receipts, bits of paper, and letters I hesitated to send. Into the trash they all went. I’m a sentimental person, so I like to keep everything. But a friend recently told me that sometimes it’s good to get rid of things; why hold on to memories that you no longer need? I would never discard a letter I’ve received from someone else. But these were the letters I never sent.

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Exams have finally ended. Back to normal blog posting! To celebrate the end of the school year, a few friends and I went to a queer night at a bar downtown. Here are some photos of the pre-drink. It was lovely.

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I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.


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“The Challenge: Free Agents” & Hypochondria (Day 257)

Today’s post involves one of my favourite things: REALITY TELEVISION. Yesterday I was watching “The Challenge: Free Agents”, a show on MTV that is sort of a spin off of every season of the Real World, as it recycles previous Real World housemates (and some random people) and makes them compete in terrifying games for a cash reward. I was intrigued by the first episode of this season because during the end of the episode, when two of the male cast members were competing to stay on the show (two people get kicked off at the end of every episode), one of the guys said ‘I’m sort of a hypochondriac’.

You see, he was battling it out with this other guy who managed to rip part of his chin off. This poor dude then had the choice of

a)getting stitches and forfeiting (aka leaving the show)

or

b)finishing the competition with a bandage on his face.

Now before you say anything, you should know that the cut was pretty big, big enough to need stitches. As I was watching the blood ooze out of his chin I was thinking, “hell no, I would not want to get back into the arena with that bloody mess.” He ended up forfeiting the battle and later stated that he did so because he is ‘sort of a hypochondriac’ and he didn’t want to get germs in the wound etc. (The ground where they were battling was basically sand and this particular challenge was obviously quite physical.)

First of all, no one should have to give a reason for why they choose to prioritize they health. And second of all, I wanted to give him a hug. I’m not actually sure of the state of this person’s mental health but regardless, he basically had to forfeit because of anxiety. So sad.