I always knew what I wanted to do with my life. I was going to be an artist, a teacher, a flight attendant. I always changed my mind about the future, but I always had a back up plan ready. I never wasted a moment feeling lost.
Lately, I am less positive about my future (and also my present) and it brings me much anxiety. As well, the my mental health has been declining this year and it is greatly affecting my university experience.
I’m only motivated by two out of five of my university courses. I’ve been thinking more and more about dropping out. This is the last thing I ever expected to do. When I was young, I imagined my life after high school to be successful, enjoyable and untouched by barriers. I enjoy and love learning, despite these thoughts of quitting my expensive education. Maybe it’s just the right time for me.
The two classes that I wouldn’t want to let go of are my ecology class and my creative writing class. Worried about losing the bit of happiness that these classes give me, I had a semi-breakdown and looked into doing school part-time. Unfortunately, I missed the drop deadline for half-term classes and I am unable to see academic counselling today as I am at home to get away from all of that anxiety.
If you drop a course after the drop deadline your classes are marked as ‘fails’ on your final transcript. The academic counselling website for my uni says that it is possible to drop a course without the academic penalty if you have unique circumstances (such as health issues). The website also states that you will most likely need documentation to support any claims. I have never been professionally diagnosed for any mental health issues despite living with mental health issues for most of my life. I was never that kid who went to the child psychologist and I’ve never been someone who is interested in being professionally diagnosed; I understand what I’ve been living with, it affects me in every way, and I don’t need someone to restate what I already know.
I’m wondering what kind of ‘documentation’ they’d be looking for. I did see a therapist once, but she wasn’t that great and that was many years ago. I was also prescribed medication for my anxiety once, but it was a walk-in type of deal, I don’t even remember the doctors’ name.
It’s crazy that so much stress and anxiety goes into easing stress and anxiety in university. And I don’t even know if they will accommodate me for sure.