365 Days of Hypochondria

And other personal happenings.

A Shameless Post About: Hair (Day 97)

4 Comments

Add this post to the long list of abnormal behaviours I seem to have accumulated from my extended time as a hypochondriac.

Since high school I have had this issue of pulling at the hair on my head. I didn’t realize what I was doing until my second year of university. I unintentionally happened upon a video about trichotillomania (something I had perviously never heard of). But while  learning about it, I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach. It was sort of a “so that’s what this is” sort of feeling. I don’t compulsively pull out my hair to any sort of extreme and I wouldn’t identify as someone who has trichotillomania, but I do catch myself subconsciously pulling at the hair on my head. Hearing about the condition just sort of gave me some context into why the hell I have an urge to pick at my head. I consider myself extremely lucky because I do it extremely mildly.

Anyways, watching this video was sort of an eye-opener. I had an instant flashback to high school (when it started). I remember sitting on the couch in my basement and watching television. While watching T.V,  I would pull out my hair. I didn’t realize that what I was doing was considered ‘abnormal’. I would search for the hairs on my head that seemed out of place. At their roots they felt more damaged than the other ones. I pondered the idea of why this may be: how could the roots of my hair become damaged? I got a lot of relief from finding these hairs and pulling them out.

Song of the Day: Wildest Moments by Jessie Ware

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4 thoughts on “A Shameless Post About: Hair (Day 97)

  1. This is so interesting – thank you for sharing. I wonder how this kind of connects to your hypochondria on a subconscious level. Maybe intense focus on the body? I’ve been biting my nails for years so maybe that’s similar? Not sure!

    • It would be so so interesting to study the subconscious effects of a primary mental illness. Makes me sometimes wish I took psychology. I think for me, it’s just another way of allocating stress. It’s like either my body has to mentally acknowledge stress (hypochondria) or physically (but subconsciously) acknowledge it (pulling my own hair). For some people, pulling out their hair is their primary mental health issue, so it’s interesting how these things vary within individuals too.

      • Interesting. I will have to check out that video later since I’ve never really thought about the name of this until now. I don’t consider myself to have hypochondria (though I do have my moments), but I know that when I am at my most stressed I have found myself in the bathroom with tweezers methodically plucking hairs from the knees down. What feels like only a few moments of this usually results in a huge chunk of time gone. This is actually something I keep putting off writing/sharing due to “shame” 0_o

      • Don’t feel ashamed! I was actually a little wary of putting my own post up today, but I figured I shouldn’t hold back. Definitely watch the video- she’s actually a favourite youtuber of mine and it was just a coincidence one day when she uploaded that video. Thanks for sharing your experience though, I really appreciate it <3

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