365 Days of Hypochondria

And other personal happenings.

Journal Entry-June 16th, 2013 (Day 87)

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*some days it’s important to retrospect*

Sometimes my heart flutters (at the most random moments). It’s usually when I’m alone, sitting in my home, retrospecting on past memories or worrying about the future. In these moments I grasp for any remaining attachment or “love” I have ever had for a few individuals. This makes being alone quite hard for me. This makes getting over past lovers quite difficult. I liken these moments to relapses. They always happen between periods of time where I am happy as I am, even if I’m “alone”. I don’t know if I’m addicted to love but if there was ever such a sickness, I may be experiencing it. At the same time, if there was ever such a sickness, there is no possible way that there couldn’t yet be a cure. The pain is almost cancerous. No human would want to willingly endure it. It’s almost undetectable at times. But when you feel it, you know that it may very well be lasting. And when you feel it, you know that a version of yourself has died.

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