365 Days of Hypochondria

And other personal happenings.

Reassurance (Day 4)

5 Comments

It’s 3:00am and I arrive home with tequila-induced melancholy. I think about how drunk I am. I think about how I am alone in my house. I think about dying alone. I think about dying alone, in my house, from alcohol poisoning.

I decide to call up one of my only friends who

a)I was positive would be awake at that hour

&

b)wouldn’t think I was a weirdo

The important part of the conversation went something like this:

“I drank a lot of alcohol and I feel like I’m dying”

“What did you drink?”

“Tequilaaaaa”

“Tequila is death”

“My heart’s beating really fast, just tell me I’m not going to die”

“You’re going to be okay”.

I’ve had similar versions of this conversation with multiple people; drunk and sober. Not everyone knows what to say, but a few people do, and I remember those moments.

There are two phrases that reassure me:

“You are going to be okay”  &   “You’re fine”.

I don’t need to hear medical terms or logic, I just need that reassurance. I don’t even need to hear it from a medical professional. If a friend, a family member, or even a stranger were to tell me I’m fine, then I believe them for that moment and those worries are temporarily gone. Sometimes I will even just simply tell a person what’s up and ask them (myself) to tell me I’m going to be okay. And they do, and then miraculously-

I am.

5 thoughts on “Reassurance (Day 4)

  1. I clearly remember a few of these “moments”. You have always been fine! Good track record ;)

  2. You are going to be OK. Perfect outlet for you….and entertaining too. Write on.. xo

  3. This is one of the hardest battles I have with my partner. I too have severe anxiety over health issues (most of them, like you, turn out to be nothing)
    When you are scared and panicking and you reach a “don’t worry about it!” Rather than a “You are fine, you are healthy you are ok” Can mean the difference between a full blown panic attack and a cuddled-up-on-the-couch evening.

    Asking for reassurance is, for me, is one of the hardest things I have ever encountered. Yo must first voice aloud that you KNOW you are being crazy but please play along anyway. AND you must do this all in a time when you are literally unable to convince yourself you are ok.

    Thank you for sharing your journey.

    You are OK! You will BE ok. YOU will be ok. You WILL be ok.

    • Very, very true, and well said. It’s such a frustrating feeling when you get the ‘don’t worry’. Thank you for your honesty and kind words. YOU will be ok also! <3

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