In grade school we are all taught a few basic question words. But the one word that I could never grasp was ‘why’. For example, my fourth grade teacher would give the class hypothetical questions to answer using ‘why’:
Hypothetical Question # 1: Why did Sally stay inside on a rainy day?
My Hypothetical Answer: How does one even answer such a question? If I don’t know Sally personally, how can I know why she prefers the indoors on rainy days? Maybe she has an extreme phobia of water, or maybe she just hates rain. Why would someone hate the rain?
All the ‘why’ questions that seem like they could have logical answers are never really understood by someone on the outside. It’s hard to even understand the ‘why’s’ relating to ourselves.
Let’s fast forward twelve years to present day (I am now twenty years old). I have a secret. And this is what I know about it:
How: Trauma involving a ‘scary movie’.
When: 8 years old.
Where: My birthday party.
What I am trying to tell you is that for twelve years I have been a hypochondriac. It all started when I was celebrating my birthday. I had gone to the store with my dad to buy some movies for the big night. He picked out ‘Lake Placid’ and ‘The Craft’. The latter altered my brain chemistry.
And I still just can’t seem to understand why.
So for 365 days I am going to document my hypochondria like never before. And I am going to actually try to get over this thing. Because after 12 fucking years, I’ve had enough.